Job 33:27

"He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not;" Job 33:27

Pervert is the correct word in this verse! I know that the many sins in my life have put me to the wrong use. Willingly forced to the wrong path. I embraced those sins, and there are a specific two that I wish to address in this writing. Thankfully, one is long left in the past, for I have not embraced it since before I became a Christian: thievery. The other is a constant struggle. A temptation that is dealt with on a daily basis: women. It is the relationships with both that have been perverted!

First of all, a relationship with thievery is not right! Thievery did corrupt my view of honesty though. This corruption had begun a long time ago. I believe it dates back roughly to the sixth grade. Actually, now that I think about it, it was more like the second or third grade. I remember pilfering G.I. Joes from a local store. My mom never asked how my collection miraculously grew by itself! This was a short stint until I picked the bad habit back up in the sixth grade. Yet again, another funny story(not truly humorous though!). I lived with my sister, and she never questioned how my book collection grew(for books were my primary aim). I did have a few rules or morals to my stealing. My belief was to steal only from corporate stores. Individuals were not on my list. It did not make it right, but it rationalized it for me.

Honesty was compromised by this habit or hobby. My value of things was compromised. Respect was lost. You lose all manner of characteristics when you delve into sin. All manner of trinkets and whatnot would be stolen. Books, movies, video games, electronics, pens, and many other miscellaneous items were on my list. I kept up with the dollar value for bragging rights. In the end though, it profited me not! I had all these material items yet it increased my worth none. It subtracted. The value of the meaningful things of this world was lost: honesty and respect. Thankfully, God is merciful. He broke me of my habit/hobby. Showed me the value of being honest and purchasing what I wanted. The perverted track of thievery was left in the dust. Thank God!

The worse of the two is my relationship with women. Tis funny, I did not even start dating until midway through my senior year of high school. Scrawny, short, and obnoxious were my main characteristics. Imagine that huh? The Marines will also work wonders in the ladies department. The uniform is the hook, I suppose. Whatever it be, I became a chronic dater. Abundance is not always a good thing! I once heard a comedian say that if you are stringing along three or four women, then he could show you three or four unsatisfied women. A man cannot fulfill his role with a woman in a relationship if he has two or three others that he is also trying to fulfill his role with. This comedian also stated that if you are doing things right, then one woman is all you need or can handle! This also transcends to gods. The Almighty Father is more than enough. He is the only true God, and his path is hard enough to walk without all the other false gods trying to distract us. One woman!

I had a hard time with that one in my pre-Christian days. Juggling women seemed to be fun. It kept my mind entertained, but not my heart. All the while, I got emptier and emptier. Loneliness abounded....until I found the one True Love of my life. Jesus Christ. The emptiness is gone, but there is still loneliness. We cannot get away from a bit of loneliness. By trying to keep an abundance of women in my life(to fill that emptiness), I desensitized and lost the true value of a woman. My view of them was more on a sexual level than anything else. I lost sight of what I needed from them first and foremost! Friendship. My programming is being changed on a daily basis. I thank God for that! Seeking friendship before all else. A common ground that was never in my previous relationships. A woman whom I can open up my heart to with no fear of ridicule or loss of confidence. Confidence in myself and in her(not to share with all her girlfriends)! An open relationship between God, her, and myself(like Adam, Eve, and God before the fall). My eyes are opening to the true value of relationships. Honesty and vulnerability. Vulnerability gives us the courage to love more truly and deeply than ever before. The beauty of relationships to me is how it forms a man and a woman into a god-like unit. Men have certain characteristics of God, and women have others. It is the joining and the union of man and woman that bring this beautiful creation together. A true blessing to see two halves of God's creation become one to do his work!

Abundance does not always lead to profit! I had abundance of material items and women, and I got worse off. God showed me the error of my ways and the true and hard path to becoming a man after God. The road is still being trod upon, but now it is embraced with all it's adversities. Why? Growth is my only option. The only thing I want because I become more like Him everyday! And it profit me everything!
kenny